Meaningful Returns

I grew up in a home where generosity was such an integral part of our reality that it was hard to identify on its own. What I mean is, if my family was a soup, and you asked me to strain out the generosity in the soup, I couldn’t. It was in the broth. It just was. 

And I could fill a book with the stories about weekends my dad spent chopping wood for someone, or helping them move, or stopping and fixing a flat tire, or doing yard work for the elderly. I could fill another book with stories about my mom listening, and listening, and listening, and cooking meals for everyone, and educating, and caring. And I could fill a third with stories of seeing the absolute delight in my parents’ eyes when we would go out for a rare restaurant meal and they would tip the wait staff something way north of 20%.

But we did not have a ton money in our home. When I was little, my dad worked the early shift at UPS before going into his day job as a pastor. Then, when I was older, he worked for a brick mason on his “days off” as a pastor. My mom homeschooled the daughter of a friend as a side hustle. We didn’t really do “vacation.” We didn’t do many “new clothes.” We certainly didn’t do “fresh, organic food.” But my parents always said they were rich. I guess they got it much better than most.

So, it’s important to note that not only was generosity something my parents practiced, it was also very much something that we were the beneficiaries of. In fact, without the generosity of others, I highly doubt I’d be at this computer writing this post, because it’s amazing what a few extra opportunities in my life afforded me:

• Five cars. One of my dad’s friends gave our family five cars over the course of my childhood. Not brand new cars, but cars that were significantly better than what we could have otherwise afforded. Without these cars, I don’t know if I would have had a reliable car to drive around in high school, to work, to basketball practice, to hang out with my friends–all activities that were incredibly formative in my life.
• Basketball. I couldn’t really afford to play AAU basketball (which was the only place where I got actual, legitimate coaching), but a random dad in Cary whose son was on the team paid for me to play. He even let me stay at his house without ever once acting like it wasn’t a totally normal thing to pay for random kids to play basketball and have them stay at your house.
• Education. I’m the middle of three kids, and all three of us got full rides to college. People who didn’t know us from Adam gave to fine institutions of higher learning so that kids like us who didn’t have anything for college other than a desire to do well could actually do well and graduate without being shackled to tens of thousands of dollars of debt.
• Chances. I met my wife because she hated going to NC State and transferred to ASU. She took a chance on me for reasons I’m not altogether clear on. I got my first gig at Ernst & Young because I randomly met someone who took a chance on me. I got my current gig because someone I knew took a chance on me.

Lots of chances have been given to me, more than I could count.

According to Wikipedia, “Giving Tuesday was started in 2012 by the 92nd Street Y and the United Nations Foundation as a response to commercialization and consumerism in the post-Thanksgiving season (Black Friday and Cyber Monday).” So you know I’m on board with it. I wish I could punch Black Friday and Cyber Monday in the mouth.

I talk a lot about giving and generosity on this blog, because I think that any ongoing discussion of money that doesn’t give weight to giving and generosity is missing the entire point, which is, loosely: “It’s obvious, isn’t it? The place where your treasure is, is the place you will most want to be, and end up being.”

But I also talk a lot about giving and generosity because I am the product of it.

So please give, today and every day. To great organizations (like the Alexander Family YMCA, Jobs for Life, Neighbor to Neighbor, CCDA, JusticeMatters, HOPE International, and many, many others), but also to people right around you. People in your community that have real needs, needs for your presence, and your empathy, and in many cases your money. Give your time, and talent, and resources. Give because giving is one of the best ways to ensure you get to a place worth being.

Make generosity part of the broth of your family soup.